Dear Maasi is a column about everything you wanted to know about sex and relationships but were afraid to ask! It’s a partnership between Sahiyo and WeSpeakOut, and is for all of us who have questions about khatna (female genital mutilation/cutting or FGM/C) and how it impacts our bodies, minds, sexualities and relationships. We welcome you to submit your anonymous questions. 
 

Dear Maasi, 

Although I’ve emotionally resolved much about the FGM/C trauma through therapy, there are times when it pops into my mind in an unexpected way, for example, the odd time when I’m urinating. It might be a depressing thought, or a prickly pain down there. At these moments, I feel awful and sad, and angry that FGM/C can still intrude upon my life. How can I stop it? 

—Mariam 

Dear Mariam, 

Thank you for this important question. Sometimes our FGM/C trauma and their triggers can feel difficult to understand. In my April 2021 column, I talked about this: 

“Trauma memories are often implicit, because trauma floods our brain with cortisol, the stress hormone, which shuts down the part of our brain that encodes memories and makes them explicit. Our implicit memories can be like invisible forces in our lives, impacting us in powerful ways.” (https://www.psychalive.org/making-sense-of-implicit-memories/) 

These “invisible forces” show up in the ways you’ve described, in those seemingly random moments when you’re not expecting them to. Trauma impacts both our mind and body and can keep our nervous systems on alert for perceived threats, even when there is no actual threat present. 

Frustrating right? I am not sure that we can stop it, but we can lessen the suffering. One powerful strategy is mindfulness, which originated in eastern and Buddhist philosophy and uses moment-to-moment awareness to cope and reduce distress.  

Mindfulness has helped me when I have uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, or bodily experiences. For example, when I feel discomfort in my genitals, I have learned (with a therapist's help, reading, and lots of practice) to respond to it as a neutral sensation. The goal is to acknowledge the sensation without reacting negatively. How we respond and talk to ourselves matters. 

-I might say "Oh! There's that sensation in my vulva" or “Oh! There’s that memory” versus "Oh! There's that awful/weird/unpleasant pain" or “Oh! There’s that horrible memory that will never go away”. 
-I'll then breathe into the sensation or memory, and send love to my body or mind. 

When I first tried this exercise, it didn’t work immediately, or feel believable; in time, with lots of repetition, it started to work. This is because the repetitive practice builds new neural networks that allow us to have new responses. One way to remember to practice is to post a picture or words that will help you remember. Mariam, in your case, you could post this reminder in the bathroom, right across from the toilet. 

Hope this helps, Mariam. And as always, remember that sexual pleasure and healing is our birthright! 

—Maasi 

About Maasi, aka Farzana Doctor: 

Farzana is a novelist and psychotherapist in private practice. She’s a founding member of WeSpeakOut and the End FGM/C Canada Network. She loves talking about relationships and sexuality! Find out more about her at http://www.farzanadoctor.com 

Disclaimer: 

While Farzana is full of good advice, this column won’t address everyone’s individual concerns and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical or psychological care. 

Sahiyo U.S. would like to thank our friends at Resist for a core support grant award of $4,000 per year for three years. Resist supports organizations that organize within communities for structural, social, and economic change. They also provide alternative systems to the ones we’re currently fighting, and help to build resilience in communities.

These funds will help Sahiyo to expand our Community Outreach and Education program, which trains health care providers, government officials, law enforcement, social services, and other community based organizations on ways to support female genital cutting (FGC) survivors; plan for our next annual Activists Retreat, where we train advocates to continue their work in raising awareness against FGC; provide organizing power to FGC survivors in states that don’t yet have policy against FGC; and conduct valuable research investigating the needs of FGC survivors and the intersections of FGC and other oppressions, such as discrimination based on race, gender, religion, sexuality, and diverse migrant experiences.

Sahiyo U.S. is proud to announce the publication of our new report, Examining the Current State of Critical Intersections: Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting and Social Oppressions. The report explores how different forms of oppression intersect to affect survivors’ access to resources, as well as how the work to end FGM/C is connected to other social justice movements.

The inspiration for the report sprung from a webinar that Sahiyo U.S. hosted in July of 2021 titled, “Critical Intersections: Anti-Racism and Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting (FGM/C).” This discussion highlighted how systemic racism negatively affects the work to end FGM/C. The webinar was highly successful, engaging more than 300 people. Using that momentum, with funding from Wallace Global Fund, Sahiyo U.S. launched a research project to further understand how different forms of oppression affect marginalized communities that practice FGM/C, and how to connect with other social justice movements to strengthen efforts in ending FGM/C.

The report breaks down how the following themes, and how they intersect with the harmful practice of FGM/C:

• Religion: FGM/C occurs within many different religious communities, yet a focus on Islamic communities falsely correlates the practice with this religion, negatively impacting women and survivors of FGM/C with an Islamic background and furtherheightening Islamaphobia.  
• Race: common assumptions about FGM/C are often based on racist stereotypes. Type III FGM/C (infibulation) is often called “African FGM/C,” while less severe types of FGM/C such as Type I (clitoridectomy) and Type II (excision) are associated with Asian countries. This racialized distinction can be used to justify the practice by some FGM/C practicing communities
• Bodily Autonomy: there is great potential for collaboration between anti-FGM/C work and the #MeToo movement. Violations of survivors’ bodies at an age where they do not fully understand how their body functions inhibits their ability to assert bodily autonomy; similarly, survivors of the #MeToo movement lost autonomy over their bodies through experiences of sexual violation.
• Queer Gender and Sexuality: the practice of FGM/C itself forces survivors to comform to cisgender and heteronormative ideas of what a woman is. LGBTQ+ survivors are underrepresented in statistics and the FGM/C activist community, and face an intersection of barriers that causes erasure from the FGM/C sphere.
• Feminism: there are many complexities at the intersection of FGM/C and feminism.  Both the resister and accommodator of FGM/C may argue that their actions are aligned with Feminist philosophy based on their reasoning.
• Law and Policy: In the U.S.,  state laws on FGM/C have been co-opted to ban gender-affirming healthcare for minors. Globally speaking, law and policy has led to the criminalization of FGM/C, creating opportunities for ending of the practice, or giving practitioners reason to continue it in secrecy.
• Climate Change: marginalized groups are more adversely affected by the climate crisis because they do not have economic resources to protect themselves. This puts financial strain on these communities, and makes women and girls more susceptible to oppression and violence, including FGM/C.

It is our hope that this report will support advocates working in FGM/C to better understand how these intersecting oppressions affect the work to end FGM/C and survivors, and connect fellow activists and social change makers to unite in ending universally oppressive systems.

Read the full report here. 
Learn more about the Critical Intersections Research Project.

By Rachel Wine

On September 30th, I had the honor of joining survivors, activists, and allies from around the world to participate in the 9th Annual Global Woman Awards the 10th Annual Walk to End FGM. I was  grateful for the opportunity to meet with my peers in the anti-FGM/C field in-person, and share in the collective energy that is fueling the work to end this harmful practice.

The ceremony kicked off with a musical performance, a keynote speaker, and opening remarks by the Global Woman P.E.A.C.E Foundation’s founder, Angela Peabody. The award ceremony began  with the category of legal and policy work in the anti-FGM/C field; this year’s awardee was our very own Mariya Taher! Though Mariya was unable to attend the event in-person, I was excited to celebrate the recognition of her hard work and share some remarks on her behalf.

I was eager to tell the crowd about Sahiyo’s work as Coalition members in Massachusetts, Washington, and Connecticut, and the successes of passing legislation in the former two states. I explained that passing legislation is only half the battle, and the other half is holding legislators accountable for upholding the law. I also emphasized the importance of holistic approaches to ending FGM/C, such as educational initiatives and programs for survivors.

After accepting the  award on Mariya’s behalf, I was delighted to hear about the accomplishments of the other awardees, including an educator, doctors, survivors, students, and more. I felt hopeful for the future of this work seeing many young activists in the crowd.

When the award ceremony ended, the group gathered to walk from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial and back, united in chanting “No More FGM!” Many patrons of the National Mall stopped us to ask  what FGM stood for; we shared pamphlets and information to educate them, and hopefully fueled their curiosity to learn more. As we sat on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial chanting, clapping, stomping, and cheering, I was reminded of  the power of being a part of something bigger than myself. This event was something I won’t soon forget, and I’ll look forward to many future celebrations of our work to end FGM/C.

Title: FGM/C: It's Time to Talk About It
Date: November 8, 2023 
Time: 9:30-1:30 PM EST 

Female genital mutilation/cutting (FGM/C) is recognized in the US and internationally as a human rights violation and a form of gender-based violence. However, many social workers, advocates, and social service providers are not adequately equipped to address FGM/C in their practice. This workshop will provide an introductory foundation for understanding what FGM/C is, including its prevalence in the U.S. and globally, and the role of social workers in addressing and responding to this issue. In addition, the workshop will share key competencies and best practices for working with survivors of FGM/C. This workshop intends to increase attendees’ confidence in talking about and addressing FGM/C in their practice and provide relevant resources.

Objectives:

• Participants will learn about the role of social workers in addressing FGM/C.
• Participants will learn about the common service needs for people who have been impacted by FGM/C.
• Participants will learn how to apply core social work competencies and approaches to working with people impacted by FGM/C in culturally responsive ways.
• Participants will gain an introductory understanding of what female genital cutting/mutilation is; including the types of FGM/C, justifications for the practices, physical and psychological impacts, and its prevalence in the US and globally.

Register for the event here. For more information, please visit the event page on Bridgewell's website.

Title: From Idea to Fruition: Building an Organization from the Ground-up and the Learning Journey
Date: Mon, Nov 13th, 2023
Time: 2:30-4 pm ET / 11:30-1 pm PT

Mariya Taher is one of the five co-founders of Sahiyo. Sometimes she feels as if she accidentally started an organization, though starting an organization is by no means an easy feat (even when someone is passionate about a topic). For the past nine months, Mariya has been taking part in the VALOR LEAP program, a mentorship program for women of color leaders working in gender-based violence. In connection with her fellowship, she will be hosting a webinar she hopes will support other future nonprofit founders. Founders from across the VALOR LEAP Cohorts will come together for a discussion on what led them to found their organizations and the lessons (both challenges and successes) that they have encountered along the way. Mariya Taher will moderate, with Strong Oak Lefebvre, April Barbosa, Tonije Reese, and Sanjana Khan as speakers. Learn more about speakers here.

Objectives of Webinar:

• To hear the stories of founders of various organizations and what motivated them
• To connect founders in the gender-based violence space with one another
• To develop lessons learned and key takeaways in terms of what to know and or be aware of when considering founding an organization

Register for the webinar here.

Meet L'Oréal Paris Women of Worth Honoree Mariya Taher, Sahiyo U.S. Each year, L'Oréal Paris launches a nationwide search for ten extraordinary non-profit leaders to be named Women of Worth honorees. Each honoree receives $25,000 to support their charitable work, mentorship from the L'Oréal Paris network and a national platform to tell their stories.

Read more about Mariya here.

Learn more about the 2023 Women of Worth by visiting womenofworth.com.