By Sushma Mahadeo 

What does self-love mean to you? 

To me, self-love is about loving yourself unconditionally. It means being proud of yourself on your good and bad days. It's about being able to look in the mirror and fully accept and like who you are, even if you have insecurities. It's knowing that you are important just by being on this earth, and worthy of respect. If you love yourself, you don't tolerate disrespect from others.

How do you practice self-love? 

I practice self love through words of affirmation and gratitude. Most of my life, I've struggled with low self esteem due to anxiety and depression. However, as I've gotten older, I've realized the importance of having a positive self concept, especially to counter anxious or depressive thoughts. I used to think people were lying if they complimented me, especially if they called me beautiful, because I didn't see it in myself. However, I've realized I can retrain my brain to see myself in a better light by making a habit of reinforcing positive beliefs through words of affirmations. I also practice gratitude, and it helps remind me of how abundant my life already is. Gratitude helps put things into perspective sometimes when I'm feeling down about myself. Additionally, I do simple acts of self-care, such as taking time to exfoliate or use a new face mask. Little acts of self-care help me feel more special about myself.
 
How do you encourage yourself and your peers to practice self-care and self-love? 

I constantly send my friends positive text messages with words of affirmation or reminders of how amazing they are and how much I appreciate and love them. I always tell my friends to be kind to themselves and take care of themselves because they matter, more than whatever is stressing them out. I follow my own advice as well, and reinforce the same affirmations to myself.

From your perspective, what is the connection between body image and self-love? (how are they related?)

From my experience, I've disliked myself more when I had a terrible body image; I didn't feel confident, or worthy of happiness. I think society keeps trying to impose certain beauty standards and the idea that once we look a certain way, then we can be happy, and only then are we worthy of love and good things. However, those ideas and standards are so harmful, and make so many individuals unhappy. Self-love is about realizing that beauty is unique and that we can appreciate how other people look while also appreciating what we see in the mirror. It's also about realizing that we are deserving of the best things in life regardless of how we look.

What is one thing you did for yourself today? 

I stretched and exercised my body. Not only did the exercise help me feel good, but I gained a better appreciation for my body.

When do you think it is most important to practice self-love? 

I think it's most important to practice self-love when you're not feeling great about yourself. But it's also important to practice it when you have good days because you deserve to enjoy yourself everyday.

Do you have any New Year’s resolutions on how to love yourself better this month and the rest of the year?

My goal is to continue reinforcing positive beliefs about myself, especially with affirmations to improve my confidence.  Below is a picture of a gratitude journal because I am trying to use one to improve my self-love.

Tik Tok presents a new way to engage with an audience and educate others, which is why we are excited to bring Sahiyo to this platform! We will share valuable, inspiring, and educational content to raise awareness about female genital cutting (FGC), as well as uplift survivors’ stories, with the hopes of reaching many more people with potential for becoming supporters and advocating for our cause!

Check out our first two videos about what FGC is and FGC in the United States.

Follow and connect with us @sahiyovoices.

Naquia is a Research Associate at Cornell University where she studies public health policy, homelessness, and health inequities. She recently graduated from the University of Michigan with a degree in Public Health and a minor in Spanish. She is passionate about destigmatizing sexual and reproductive health, supporting immigrant and refugee communities, and promoting cultural humility in health care. Naquia will be attending medical school in 2023 and aspires to become an OB/GYN. 

What was your experience of learning about female genital cutting (FGC) for the first time like?

I learned about FGC for the first time when I was taking a gender and health class during my first year at the University of Michigan. When my professor mentioned the name of my own community during the lecture, I was shocked and confused. I later learned that while I was not subjected to the practice, nearly every generation of women in my family was forced to undergo FGC quietly, secretly, and without consent. Learning about FGC and its impact on the people I love and care about has driven me to create a safe space for survivors to share their stories. 

When and how did you first get involved with Sahiyo?

Although I had learned about FGC from an academic perspective as a public health student, I struggled to begin questioning the practice in my own community where talking about women’s bodies was taboo. After graduating from college last year, I wanted to support an organization that centers the experiences of survivors and communities affected by FGC. I learned about Sahiyo from a close friend and decided to apply to become a volunteer. 

What does your work with Sahiyo involve?

I’ve been involved in the Critical Intersections Research Project, which aims to understand the impact of different social oppressions, such as Islamophobia and systemic racism, on the movement to end FGC. I’ve been able to use my background in research to help support this work by interviewing activists and providing qualitative analysis. Connecting with activists and grassroots organizations has greatly expanded my understanding of the broader context of FGC within structural oppression, as well as the complex challenges activists face in ending FGC. 

How has your involvement with Sahiyo impacted your life?

As someone who comes from a community that practices FGC and aims to become a physician who can provide care with cultural humility, my involvement with Sahiyo has significantly impacted my life. For years, I felt alone and discouraged when trying to talk to members of my community about FGC; through Sahiyo, I’ve been able to connect with a supportive network of survivors and allies, learn from the experiences of activists, and gain courage to talk to my family members and other community members with sensitivity. 

What words of wisdom would you like to share with others who may be interested in supporting Sahiyo and the movement against FGC?

Silence is one of the most pervasive challenges in the movement to end FGC, but speaking out can come in many different forms. Whether it means sharing information on social media, having a challenging conversation with a family member, or prioritizing your own mental health, activism and healing will look different for everyone. I am incredibly grateful for Sahiyo in providing me with the guidance and support to become a life-long advocate.

By Rachel Wine

On November 17th, outgoing Israeli Interior Minister Ayelet Shaked forwent the unanimous recommendation from a committee on refugee policy and rejected the asylum request of a young Sierra Leonian woman fleeing female genital mutilation/cutting (FGM/C). The Minister cited several reasons for her decision, many of which included problematic assumptions about FGM/C. I’ll aim to unpack these and provide points of consideration regarding power, politics, and FGM/C.

FGM/C is not a “developing countries” issue.

In reference to the Geneva Convention relating to the Status of Refugees, Shaked insisted that it was “not designed to address all of the difficulties and hardships suffered by hundreds of millions of people in developing countries.” This false belief that FGM/C only occurs in developing countries can be used to other those affected by the practice and absolve responsibility for taking action. In reality, FGM/C occurs in 92 countries, including the United States. Were this asylum-seeker from Canada or the United States, would Shaked's decision to deny refugee status stuck?

What constitutes a trauma that is “sufficient” enough? And who has the power to declare it as such? 

There is a discriminatory tone to Shaked’s point about the Geneva Convention too, as she insists “a threshold of some kind… as sufficient grounds for persecution” is necessary for considering refugee status. The WHO has declared FGM/C a human rights abuse, and therefore I do not believe anyone has the right to question the validity of this fleeing woman’s struggle, much less someone with power and influence like Shaked. Considering the Minister’s involvement in Israel’s nationalist politics, it is possible that her decision is part of a larger agenda to keep certain racial groups out of the country, which should disqualify her from making decisions regarding refugees and asylum seekers.

FGM/C is not a cultural practice and cannot be compared with male circumcision.

To further reinforce her decision, Shaked falsely conflates FGM/C with cultural identity by claiming that “some [forms of FGM/C] are similar or milder than ceremonial male circumcision.” To assign cultural significance to FGM/C also serves as justification for the practice in the name of preserving tradition, much like Shaked is trying to do with male circumcision in Jewish populations. Furthermore, the assumption that FGM/C is a cultural or religious practice denies the reality that FGM/C is globally pervasive, and cannot be lineated with or justified by any one identity, be it religion, culture, or ethnicity. While both culture and religion are large reasons that FGM/C continues, and institutions that uphold the social norm of FGM/C, this harmful practice must be seen as gender-based violence, a suppression of feminine sexuality and freedom, as an attempt to intimidate and control. To deny this truth is to enable the continuation of this violence, and we cannot let culture or religion continue to be an excuse for this human rights violation.

No one form of FGM/C is more harmful, and all iterations of the practice are damaging to survivors.

Finally, Shaked undermines the trauma inflicted by millions of survivors by claiming: “only a portion of [the forms of FGM/C] have the potential to inflict sufficient serious harm that could be considered persecution.” This statement invalidates the lived reality of every survivor, and reveals Shaked’s lack of knowledge on the practice. This again raises the question of who can be granted authority to make such decisions, and speaks to the need of organizations like Sahiyo, who work tirelessly to educate and dispel falsities that are harmful and dangerous.

 

A note from the author: I often question what my role as an activist should look like. As a white Jewish woman, I know it is not enough to remember the oppression of my own ancestors; as Fannie Lou Hamer said, “nobody’s free unless everybody’s free.” I believe the critical work of activism for a person of privilege such as myself must encompass standing with and supporting those who face oppression in all of its iterations and holding members of your community accountable for problematic and dangerous behavior. When other Jews fail to use their privileges in standing against oppression, and particularly the oppression of non-Jews, I must reckon with the impact of these choices. To be the descendent of an oppressed people, and yet still play a role in the oppression of others, is a disgrace to our ancestors and their legacy of survival; this survival is only made possible through communal care, as well as solidarity with other marginalized groups. I encourage everyone to consider the impact of your choices and the choices of your peers. Hold yourself, and others, accountable. We must use the power we have to protect each other to the best of our ability.

Finally, I believe anyone of the Jewish faith who supports Shaked’s decision should turn to this teaching from the Torah: “The strangers who reside with you shall be to you as your citizens; you shall love each one as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt” (Leviticus 19:36).

By Trisha Kini

Body image, which is closely tied to mental health and general wellbeing, refers to the way one perceives their body and the positive, negative, and/or neutral feelings that arise from that perception. Whether it is in relation to skin, hair, or the shape/size of a body part, body image influences people in different ways. Oftentimes, body image has an impact on self-acceptance, self-love, and self-esteem (Canadian Mental Health Association, BC Division, 2015). 

Beauty standards, which can be shaped by society, our peers, friends, and family, are some of the largest driving factors for the expectations we see for body image today. The beauty standards we observe in films and media that are closely tied with ethnicity, race, body shape, and other features influence viewers to believe that those are the features a human should possess to be attractive and desirable. These expectations have changed over time with ever evolving movies, television shows, magazines, and social media. Today, these standards are often unrealistic, and cause many people to struggle with body image. 

Although struggling with one's perception of their body may not be uncommon, it can be detrimental to one’s identity, growth, and mental health. In this blog post, we will explore how body image can impact survivors of female genital cutting (FGC), and provide resources on how to navigate conversations related to body image, self-love, and FGC. 

 Lena describes her experience with FGM/C and the shame she felt

FGC survivors can be impacted by body image

It is imperative to acknowledge that survivors of FGC are impacted by body image in ways that non-survivors may not be able to relate to. Body image, and the negative feelings that arise, can also prevent survivors of FGC from seeking medical care due to stigmatization associated with female genitalia, as well as women’s and gender non-conforming, non-binary individuals’ bodies. This impact can deter survivors from enthusiastically seeking healthcare or trusting their health provider. Additionally, survivors of FGC may struggle with body image in a way that also impacts sexual activity.

Centering survivors in conversations related to body image

When talking with survivors about body image, it is important to center survivors in the conversation. Listening, and reflecting on their feelings with regard to their experiences with body image can allow more space for survivors to feel heard and validated. Keeping in mind that everyone’s relationship with their bodies differs based on their life experiences can be helpful when navigating conversations surrounding body image, self-love, and acceptance. Expressing your appreciation for their trust in sharing, and encouraging their growth and journey in understanding their relationship with themselves can also be validating and allow the person sharing to feel more comfortable with expressing their feelings. 

Learn more

To learn more about seeking support and supporting survivors of FGC, we have included several resources below. We hope to elevate more conversations about self-love, and encourage our community to share these resources and talk more about the measures and steps you take to practice self-love, self-care, and body positivity. 

Resources on how to Support FGC Survivors:     

• United Against Female Genital Cutting - Sahiyo Resources
• Sahiyo - United Against Female Genital Cutting - Survivor Support Resources
• Sahiyo - United Against Female Genital Cutting - FGC Survivor Support Line
• Voices to End FGM/C Website

Non-Sahiyo Resources: 

• Survivor Mental Health Support Group
• About FGC and Mental Health
• U.S. Network to End FGM/C Resources

Umme Kulsoom Arif is a lawyer, activist, and sometimes writer from Missouri. They received their Bachelor of Science in Justice Systems from Truman State University and their Juris Doctor from Penn State Law in University Park. Despite having been born and raised as a part of the Dawoodi Bohra community, they did not become familiar with FGC until they were nineteen, when they learned that they had a much more personal connection to it than they could have anticipated. Umme volunteers as a writer for Sahiyo after joining the organization while in law school, telling their story and hoping to encourage others to do the same and find healing in speaking out.

What was your experience of learning about female genital cutting (FGC) for the first time like?

I had some passing understanding of what FGC was thanks to a mention of it by my high school sociology teacher, but I think I truly learned about the gravity of it and how connected I was to it a few years later. I was a sophomore in college and just coming to terms with my sexuality, leading to me coming out to my parents as asexual. That was when my mother told me that my fear of intimacy was intentionally done, and suddenly more than a few childhood memories that didn’t immediately make sense clicked. 

When and how did you first get involved with Sahiyo?

I was in my second year of law school and had been watching the U.S. prosecution case until its devastating conclusion. While researching what advocacy groups were out there to help survivors like myself, in an effort to see if there was something I could do, I came across Sahiyo and — recognizing the name from my own culture — immediately reached out to volunteer.

What does your work with Sahiyo involve?

Mostly a lot of writing and blog posts! I’m very grateful to have been part of the 2022 Sahiyo Activists Retreat, and to be able to share my perspective as someone part of the LGBTQ+ community, especially as someone who is nonbinary. I’ve focused heavily on the healing side of activism and encouraging survivors to be kind to themselves, even if it isn’t easy.

How has your involvement with Sahiyo impacted your life?

Growing up as part of the Dawoodi Bohra community, speaking up against FGC has been a very strange and isolating experience. But being part of Sahiyo offered me the opportunity to find and build my own community of survivors and allies who are focused on uplifting each other and embracing our authentic selves. I’m much more comfortable writing about my experiences these days and often look forward to more opportunities to volunteer. It has been an incredible healing journey and I am so grateful to not walk this path alone.

What words of wisdom would you like to share with others who may be interested in supporting Sahiyo and the movement against FGC?

Come as you are and be yourself. Everyone’s healing journey is different and you do not have to push yourself beyond your limits to join the movement against FGC. Survival is activism too. And know that you do not walk this path alone — we are with you, to speak when you don’t feel able and to listen when you do.