By Brad Mazon, PhD.
Brad is a Bhaiyo volunteer, nonprofit consultant, husband, father, and an advocate against female genital mutilation/cutting worldwide.
I had the opportunity to attend two webinars sponsored by the Men End FGM Foundation entitled “Power of Prevention: Harnessing Positive Masculinity to Combat Violence Against Women and Girls.” The title of the webinar itself indicates that masculinity, and its implementation, can be negative or toxic. During the webinar, I almost came to think of “masculinity” as a verb, given its ability to exert either a positive or negative influence on the lives of others. The term “toxic masculinity” was mentioned throughout the webinar, as folks chimed in about the need to redefine masculinity. Toxic masculinity is the idea that to be masculine is to be inherently oppressive and controlling. “Positive masculinity” was another frequently invoked term, defined as being empathic, emotionally intelligent, and honest with one’s feelings. Toxic masculinity not only affects women but men as well. Think of all of the ways that men suffer from toxic masculinity, including how it defines their life choices, decisions about a mate, how they interact with all genders, how they dress, the music they listen to or not, whether they cry or not, and even how they perceive themselves. As a gay man, I’ve recognized how American society’s notion of masculinity has influenced my path. The webinar reinforced, yet again, how masculinity is defined directly impacts all people, no matter what your gender is.
Dr. Jacqueline Chesang spoke of how it takes years to change social and gender norms. She emphasized that a whole community approach is needed so that the perspectives of men and boys are included because men can also be barriers to change if you don’t engage with them. Dr. Chesang continued by saying that men can advocate and act as role models for anti-GBV efforts and that they can share stories of standing up to norms that harm women. Dr. Chesang also emphasized that we must not exclude men in the work to end gender-based violence. If we do, the existing discriminatory power structure will be reinforced. It made me reflect upon my Midwest fraternity days, when “little sister” parties were held with nearby sororities, but had nothing to do with being “big brothers,” and everything to do with consuming alcohol and hooking up. I’ve seen positive shifts in gender norms over time, but I also know that patriarchy continues to influence women and girls in ways that even they have assumed are “normal” or “acceptable.”
Dr. Patrick Muia Ndavi, the Coordinator for Abandonment of FGM for the Africa Center in the Department of Obstetrics at the University of Nairobi, talked about how important it is to understand power dynamics when discussing FGC. He said that a charismatic village elder is needed to help to promote gender equality. Dr. Ndavi addressed various types of power, including skill or expert power, charismatic power, coercive power, and informational power, asking the following questions for us to reflect upon:
- What is the broader context of power dynamics in the community?
- Whose opinion matters to everyone in the community?
- Where does violence manifest itself in the community?
Data is needed, he said, to develop and implement strategies to harness male decision-makers to become champions for women and girls.
I asked myself where positive masculinity begins. Does it start at home, as one speaker advocated for, at school, or in the media? We are inundated with examples of toxic masculinity, even to the point of admiring the most toxic behaviors in our celebrities, business leaders, tribal elders, and politicians. How can we as societies see beyond gender stereotypes so we can build communities that respect everyone’s contributions, regardless of gender?
As the speakers indicated, we have to adopt a multisectoral approach to tackle gender-based violence. The media needs to be engaged to help shape perceptions of masculinity. We can start by teaching boys and girls about gender equality and modeling respectful power dynamics at home.
Thinking outside of accepted gender norms takes creativity, the willingness to change, and courage, particularly at the most personal level. Sometimes for change to occur, it also takes an external agent (i.e. legal mechanisms), as we saw recently in The Gambia. To me, positive masculinity is about recognizing and acting on gender equality and respecting the human rights of all in a way that leaves the old, tired, and toxic ways in the dust. Men and women should be equally engaged in this journey. When that happens, there is nothing that we can’t do together to end FGM/C and stop gender-based violence.