Many survivors carry questions they’ve never felt able to ask.
Will I ever enjoy intimacy? Why do painful memories suddenly resurface? Why do families continue harmful practices? Should I confront the person responsible for my cutting?
If you’ve ever wondered something similar, you are not alone, and we welcome you to submit your questions to Dear Maasi.
Dear Maasi is a column written by psychotherapist Farzana Doctor about everything you’ve wanted to know about sex and relationships but were afraid to ask. A partnership between Sahiyo and WeSpeakOut, it’s a space for all of us who have questions about female genital mutilation/cutting and how it impacts our bodies, minds, sexualities, and relationships.
Here are a few questions Dear Maasi has explored in the past:
- How do I regain pleasure after going through FGM/C? A compassionate look at intimacy, healing, and how to achieve pleasure after trauma.
- How can I stop the trauma of FGM/C from popping into my mind? An exploration of trauma triggers, intrusive memories, and ways survivors can begin to cope and heal through mindfulness.
- Why do women who have gone through FGM/C continue to do it to their children? A nuanced discussion of intergenerational trauma, social pressure, and how harmful cycles continue.
- Should I confront the person responsible for my khatna / FGM/C? Dear Maasi explores the emotional complexity of that choice while reminding survivors that there is no one “right” way to heal.
Dear Maasi has also inspired an animated video, “How do I move past the shame of being cut?” Created by Sahiyo volunteer Kamakshi Arora, the short film brings one of Farzana Doctor’s compassionate responses to life, exploring shame, healing, and self-compassion after FGM/C. We invite you to watch it for another example of the support and guidance Dear Maasi offers.
What would you ask Dear Maasi?
No question is too personal or too “awkward!” Whether your question is about your body, relationships, trauma, healing, or something you’ve carried silently for years, Dear Maasi is here to listen. We welcome you to submit your anonymous questions here — and if you’re curious whether someone has asked something similar, you can also browse past Dear Maasi columns for guidance and support.
Related:
If you’re looking for additional guidance or support beyond Dear Maasi, these resources may help:
- FGC Survivor Support Line: Connect with trained advocates who provide confidential, survivor-centered emotional support, information, and referrals
- Sahiyo’s Survivor Resources: Explore educational materials, healing resources, organizations, and tools for survivors, loved ones, and allies
